Morgan Freeman talks about...Titty Sprinkles

Schmidt Pain Scale

This is the scale provided for the intensity for the most painful stings by insects.  The creator actually got stung by all of them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_Sting_Pain_Index

Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful 

consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable 

to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor 

position in your department. 

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving

an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With 

such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is 

impossible for me to accept all refusals. 

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous

experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your 

rejection does not meet my needs at this time.  Therefore, 

will assume the position of assistant professor in your 

department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then. 

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Classic Tedz

hahahah Jake will actually cost taxes

Five guys and a girl are stranded on a desert island. After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself. After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury her. After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her up!