Schmidt Pain Scale

This is the scale provided for the intensity for the most painful stings by insects.  The creator actually got stung by all of them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_Sting_Pain_Index

Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful 

consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable 

to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor 

position in your department. 

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving

an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With 

such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is 

impossible for me to accept all refusals. 

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous

experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your 

rejection does not meet my needs at this time.  Therefore, 

will assume the position of assistant professor in your 

department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then. 

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Classic Tedz

hahahah Jake will actually cost taxes